小時(shí)候交朋友只要一起玩就行,成年后可沒(méi)那么容易。美國(guó)堪薩斯大學(xué)研究顯示,成年人交友需要投入寶貴時(shí)間,從陌生人變成朋友需要大約90小時(shí),成為密友需要大約200小時(shí)。
You probably know that adding people to your inner circle takes time, but how much time it actually takes to go from strangers to buddies has been somewhat of a mystery—until now. A new study suggests you need to spend at least 90 hours with someone before they consider you a real friend.
你可能知道把人添加到你的圈子需要時(shí)間,但從陌生人到好友需要多少時(shí)間一直是一個(gè)謎,直到現(xiàn)在,一項(xiàng)最新的研究表明,在你們成為真正的朋友之前,你需要與Ta共度至少90個(gè)小時(shí)。
The report, published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, found that it usually takes roughly 50 hours of time together to go from acquaintance to “casual friend” (think drinking buddies, or friends of friends that you see at parties); around 90 hours to become a true-to-form “friend” (you both carve out time to specifically hang out with one another); and over 200 hours to form a BFF-type bond (you feel an emotional connection with this friend).
這份發(fā)表在“社會(huì)與個(gè)人關(guān)系雜志”上的報(bào)告發(fā)現(xiàn),從“隨便的朋友”(想想你在聚會(huì)上看到的喝酒伙伴或朋友的朋友)到熟人通常需要大約50個(gè)小時(shí)的時(shí)間;大約90個(gè)小時(shí)才能成為真正的 “朋友”(專注于彼此)。200多個(gè)小時(shí)形成成為真正意義上的密友(有情感聯(lián)系)。
Coworkers can be still become friends, of course, but you need to spend time together outside of the workplace for it to happen.
當(dāng)然,同事之間仍然可以成為朋友,但你需要在工作場(chǎng)所以外多找機(jī)會(huì)相處才行。
So, what does knowing these numbers do for you? Well, it emphasizes an important aspect of friendship we all sometimes forget about: personal investment. Jeffrey Hall, Associate Professor of Communication Studies and lead author on the report, explains that making friends really comes down to putting the time in. As he puts it, “You can’t snap your fingers and make a friend.” Don’t hang out with someone a couple times for a few hours and expect to be “besties” already. Give the people you like your time, hope they’ll give you theirs, and stay focused on having a good time. Friendship will follow.
那么,知道這些數(shù)字有什么意義呢?它強(qiáng)調(diào)了我們所有人都不要忘記的友誼的一個(gè)重要方面:個(gè)人時(shí)間投資。傳播研究副教授兼報(bào)告作者杰弗里霍爾解釋說(shuō),交朋友真的歸結(jié)為投入時(shí)間。正如他所說(shuō)的,“你不能折斷你的手指,結(jié)交朋友。”幾個(gè)小時(shí)與某人一起出去玩,并期待已經(jīng)成為“最好的人”,這并不現(xiàn)實(shí)。給你喜歡的人你的時(shí)間,希望他們會(huì)給你他們的時(shí)間,并保持專注并玩得開(kāi)心。友誼也必將隨之而來(lái)。