新概念閱讀：7步走出失敗經(jīng)歷

Failure sucks. But if your planning on doing anything important you are going to have to get used to it. Embarrassment, frustration and even bad situations you can’t control are going to be part of life. What can you actually do about them instead of just having a “positive attitude?”

失敗的感覺糟透了。但是如果你打算做任何重要的事情，你就必須要習(xí)慣這種感覺。難堪、沮喪，甚至是一些你無法控制的糟糕的情況都會是生活中的一部分。只有“積極的態(tài)度”是不夠的，你還應(yīng)該做些什么呢?

1. Find a Meaning

1. 找到一種意義

Ask yourself how you can use the bad experience. Here are some ways you can find a meaning in your situation to move past it:

問問自己該怎樣利用這段糟糕的經(jīng)歷。你可以通過下面這個問題來發(fā)現(xiàn)某段糟糕經(jīng)歷的意義，從而走出這段痛苦：

What has it taught you?

它教給你什么?

Has it made you stronger/kinder/wiser?

它是否讓你更堅強/更善良/更睿智?

Even simply enduring a bad moment has meaning in making your happy moments better.

哪怕只是單純地忍受一段糟糕的時間也有它的意義：讓你的快樂時光顯得更快樂。

2. Keep a Failure Log

2. 寫失敗日志

Keep track of any failures, embarrassments or blunders. Using a failure log you can give yourself a little checkmark of accomplishment. It may seem odd to reward failures in this way, but rewarding your failures serves two main purposes:

記錄你經(jīng)歷的任何失敗、難堪或錯誤。通過寫失敗日志你可以發(fā)現(xiàn)自己都犯過那些錯誤。這樣對待失敗似乎有些奇怪，但它有兩個主要目的：

It makes you more willing to take chances when the only risk is to your pride.

當(dāng)唯一的風(fēng)險是你的自尊時，你會更愿意冒險。

It causes you to focus more on learning and growth than external recognition.

你會更專注于學(xué)習(xí)和成長，而不是外界的看法。

I’ve even heard from other people that if they don’t have at least a few major failures each year, they don’t believe they were trying hard enough.

我甚至聽人說過，如果他們每年沒至少犯幾個大錯誤，他們都不相信自己已經(jīng)足夠努力了。

3. Find a New Goal

3. 尋找一個新目標(biāo)

Don’t dwell in the past. The best way to get out of a rut is to start building momentum again. Get a new goal or pursuit. A new challenge will get you to stop thinking about your failure and get you to focus on something positive. A new goal will also give the opportunity for future successes instead of dwelling on a current stumble.

不要活在過去。走出深淵的最好辦法就是重新開始積累動力。尋找一個新的目標(biāo)或追求。一個新的挑戰(zhàn)會讓你停止思考之前的失敗，專注于積極的東西。一個新的目標(biāo)還會為未來的成功提供機會，而不是糾結(jié)于眼前的失敗。

4. Remove Chronic Sources of Stress

4. 消除長期的壓力來源

You ability to handle big stresses depends on how well you handle the little ones. If your life is constantly driving you crazy, you need to reconstruct it to better handle stress. There are already many resources on handling stress, but here are a few quick tips:

你處理沉重壓力的能力取決于你應(yīng)對較小壓力的能力。如果你的生活一直讓你感到崩潰，你需要重新調(diào)整一下，以便更好地應(yīng)對壓力。關(guān)于如何應(yīng)對壓力已經(jīng)有很多方法，下面是一些快速減壓小妙招：

Keep your energy high by staying in shape.

保持體形以確保自己有旺盛的精力。

Fire people from your life who are a source of chronic negativity.

把那些長期給你帶來消極因素的人趕出你的生活。

Find outlets for your stress that help you recover instead of intensifying the frustration.

為你的壓力找個出口會有助于減壓而不會加劇沮喪情緒。

5. Build a Support Base

5. 打造一個后援團

Building a support base of colleagues and mentors will help you when times are rough. This is definitely a situation where you need to prepare in advance. Even if you aren’t having to deal with a particularly difficult situation right now, you might need some reinforcement in the future.

打造一個同事和顧問組成的后援團，會在艱難時刻為你提供幫助。你需要為此提前做好準(zhǔn)備。哪怕你現(xiàn)在并沒有面臨什么棘手的問題，未來你也許會需要一些幫助。

Have the right peers and mentors who will encourage you past your mistakes. Here are some tips for attracting the right people into your life:

找一些能夠鼓勵你走出錯誤陰影的伙伴和顧問。下面這些建議告訴你如何把這些對的人吸引到你的生活中來：

You give what you get. Be extra attuned to the needs of your friends and they will do the same.

你給予什么就得到什么。更習(xí)慣于你朋友的需求，他們也會同樣對待你。

Spend less time on negative people. If you can’t eliminate them entirely, reduce your interactions so you can focus more on better relationships.

離那些消極的人遠一些。如果你不能把他們完全趕出你的生活，那就減少你們的接觸，這樣你就可以更專注于良性的關(guān)系。

6. Be Humble

6. 保持謙虛態(tài)度

A sense of humility and humor can keep you moving forward when things are tough. I’m not a follower that says overwhelming confidence is the approach to success. Being humble in your abilities but confident in your chances to grow will let you shrug off failures. I never would have stuck to blogging unless I had cultivated the humility that told me it would be a lot of hard work.

謙遜感和幽默感可以幫助你在艱難時刻繼續(xù)前進。我并不相信壓倒性的自信心就可以通向成功。在自己的能力上保持謙虛，但在自己成長的機會上保持自信，這會讓你擺脫失敗。如果不是我的謙遜感告訴我我要付出很多努力，我可能就不會堅持寫博客。

Humility doesn’t necessarily mean you have low self-esteem. It just means you are focused more on doing things without expecting immediate success.

謙虛并不意味著你就要自卑。這只是說你應(yīng)該更關(guān)注做事情本身，而不是期待短時間內(nèi)取得成功。

Many Eastern philosophies emphasize goalless action. This doesn’t mean that you should not strive for anything, but that you should detach yourself from the outcome. If you win, great. If you lose, then you are one step closer.

許多東方的哲學(xué)思想都強調(diào)無為而治。這并不是說你什么都不該爭取，而是說你不要關(guān)注結(jié)果。如果你贏了，當(dāng)然很好。如果你輸了，你至少離成功又近了一步。

7. Stop Analyzing and Start Doing Something New

7. 不要再分析，開始做些新的事情

There is a maximum limit to how much you can learn from an experience. That limit is actually fairly small with an isolated incident. If you give one speech and it fails, you might be able to learn one or two points of improvement. That’s it. Anything you “learn” after this threshold is just speculation which is often incorrect.

你能從一段經(jīng)歷當(dāng)中學(xué)習(xí)當(dāng)?shù)臇|西是有上限的。就一個單獨的事件而言，其實極其有限。如果你發(fā)表了一次演講結(jié)果失敗了，你也許可以學(xué)會在一兩點上做出改進。僅此而已。而在這之后你所“學(xué)到”的東西其實只不過是些推測，而且多半還不正確。

I’ve seen people in failed relationships, goals that went sour or broken commitments, try to learn everything from just one failure. Unfortunately, the only way you can learn isn’t just to fail once but to fail dozens of times. Trying to scoop up too much information on a bad situation just leaves you feeling miserable with the false sensation that you are accomplishing something useful.

我見過那些經(jīng)歷了情感破裂、目標(biāo)失敗或承諾破碎的人，他們試圖從一次失敗里學(xué)會一切。不幸的是，你想要學(xué)會，唯一的辦法不是經(jīng)歷一次失敗，而是無數(shù)次失敗。試圖從一次失敗里總結(jié)出過多的信息只會讓你感覺痛苦，讓你誤以為自己做了一件很有用的事。

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