It’s not easy meeting new people, especially if you feel particularly shy. It is much easier to just walk by a person and never make eye contact. This may be OK at the store, but what if you’re at a convention, a trade fair or even a local festival. That person that you just walked past could be a valuable contact. Or they could know someone you want to know. They also could be a jerk. But you’ll never know unless you put yourself out there and find out for sure。
結(jié)識(shí)新朋友并不容易，如果你又是個(gè)害羞的人，那就更難了。直接從別人身邊經(jīng)過(guò)并避開(kāi)眼神接觸要自在得多。倘若這是在商店，那倒也無(wú)所謂;但若是參加會(huì)議、商展或當(dāng)?shù)毓?jié)日，可就不太好了，你剛剛經(jīng)過(guò)的那個(gè)人說(shuō)不定就是潛在人脈，或許他們甚至認(rèn)識(shí)你一直想結(jié)識(shí)的人，當(dāng)然，他們也可能只是傻逼。可是，除非主動(dòng)跟人搭話，否則你永遠(yuǎn)也不知道他們究竟是怎樣的人。
Will some people reject you and not want to talk to you? Yes. But who cares? For every 10 people you talk, one or two of them could become valuable connections — or lifelong friends. What have you got to lose?
會(huì)不會(huì)有人直接甩臉懶得跟你搭話呢?當(dāng)然會(huì)，可誰(shuí)在乎?你跟10個(gè)人搭話，就有一兩個(gè)人可能是潛在人脈——甚至終生朋友。你還有什么好吃虧的?
Here are a few ways you can overcome your fear and turn strangers into new connections:
學(xué)習(xí)下面幾個(gè)方法，你就可以克服恐懼，把陌生人變?yōu)樾屡笥牙?
1. Say “Hi。”
說(shuō)“嗨!”
Just say “Hi,” to someone. You’d be amazed at how quickly you get a friendly response. When I worked in restaurants, we often had rules like, “say hello within a minute of someone walking in” or “answer the phone within three rings。”
僅僅“嗨”一聲打個(gè)招呼，你也會(huì)發(fā)現(xiàn)對(duì)方竟很快報(bào)以友好回應(yīng)。我在酒店工作時(shí)，酒店里的規(guī)定就是“客人進(jìn)門(mén)一分鐘內(nèi)要打招呼”或“電話鈴響三聲就要接應(yīng)”。
Practice with people wherever you are – the grocery store, the bank, the farmers’ market. Just say “hello” and smile. You’ll be amazed by how many people respond。
請(qǐng)學(xué)著隨時(shí)隨地遇人打招呼。去雜貨店、菜場(chǎng)或銀行時(shí)，請(qǐng)微笑著說(shuō)“你好”。你會(huì)驚訝地發(fā)現(xiàn)，很多人都會(huì)友好地回應(yīng)你。
2. Look Approachable
表現(xiàn)得可親可近。
How you look and act says a lot about how people react to you. No, this doesn’t mean you have to wear a coat and tie. In fact, being in more relaxed clothing might make you seem more approachable. Your body language is key. Are slumped over, looking at the ground? Straighten up! Look ahead and make eye contact with people as you walk by, even if you don’t stop to talk。
你的言行舉止很能反應(yīng)別人對(duì)待你的態(tài)度。別誤會(huì)，這不是說(shuō)你必須穿得西裝筆挺。其實(shí)，著裝休閑點(diǎn)反倒會(huì)讓你看上去容易親近。肢體語(yǔ)言很關(guān)鍵。是不是萎靡不振盯著地面了?趕緊挺直腰板吧!就算不準(zhǔn)備搭話，也請(qǐng)?zhí)ь^挺胸，跟經(jīng)過(guò)的人眼神接觸吧。
When someone is near you, make sure you look receptive. Don’t cross your arms over your chest. Instead, put your arms down, or behind your back, making your body look more open. Smile or at least relax your face so you don’t look tense。
當(dāng)有人靠近時(shí)，請(qǐng)表現(xiàn)得可親些。不要胳膊交叉著抱胸;相反，你應(yīng)該放下胳膊，或背到后面去，讓整個(gè)人顯得開(kāi)放些。請(qǐng)微笑，或者至少放松面部表情，以免顯得太緊張。
3. Assume the other person is shy
假設(shè)對(duì)方比較害羞。
So if you’re shy and they’re shy, how are you going to meet? Well, since you’re the one reading this article, you have the advantage and can assume the other person is too shy to say anything. So, overcome your fear and walk over to them. Talk about the weather or baseball or if they’re holding a book or magazine, ask what they’re reading. You’d be amazed at how many connections are made by simply saying, “some weather we’re having, huh?”
如果你很害羞，對(duì)方也很害羞，相互還怎么去認(rèn)識(shí)呢?既然你看到了這篇文章，何不學(xué)學(xué)這招：假設(shè)對(duì)方太害羞，都不敢輕易開(kāi)口講話。這樣，你便能戰(zhàn)勝恐懼，勇敢向?qū)Ψ阶呷チ恕Ｄ憧梢韵日務(wù)勌鞖饣虬羟�，如果�?duì)方手里拿著書(shū)或雜志，那就問(wèn)問(wèn)他在讀什么。你會(huì)訝然發(fā)現(xiàn)，其實(shí)有時(shí)候一句簡(jiǎn)單的“天氣真糟糕，是吧?”就能開(kāi)啟一段新友誼。
4. Practice
多加嘗試。
Just like anything else, you can’t get good at something until you practice it. Take the opportunity, wherever you are, to talk to strangers (yes, I know what your mother said. I say the same thing to my kids). You will probably feel awkward at first. Perhaps even a little bit silly. But you will find that after a while, it becomes almost second nature to talk with people at the store or the park。
和其他事情一樣，交朋友也需要“熟能生巧”。不管什么時(shí)候，只要有機(jī)會(huì)就請(qǐng)嘗試跟陌生人搭話。(好吧，我知道你老媽告訴過(guò)你什么，因?yàn)槲乙哺壹倚『⒄f(shuō)過(guò)不要和陌生人說(shuō)話。)剛開(kāi)始你可能會(huì)覺(jué)得怪怪的，甚至有點(diǎn)蠢不拉幾;但過(guò)不了多久你會(huì)發(fā)現(xiàn)，跟商店或公園里的陌生人攀談幾乎成了自來(lái)熟的事兒!
5. Find common ground
尋找共同點(diǎn)。
While you’re chatting with someone, pay attention to the things they seem to like — or notice where you are. If you’re at the car parts store, ask about their car interests. If you’re at the farmers’ market, ask if they have a garden. Find out if they have kids, go fishing, whatever. Most likely, you will have something to talk with this new person about。
當(dāng)你跟人攀談時(shí)，要留心對(duì)方可能喜歡什么，或注意一下當(dāng)時(shí)的場(chǎng)合。如果是在汽車(chē)零件店，你可以跟對(duì)方談?wù)勡?chē)子話題;如果是在菜場(chǎng)，你可以問(wèn)他是不是自己種菜。你還可以問(wèn)問(wèn)對(duì)方有沒(méi)有小孩啊、釣不釣魚(yú)啊之類(lèi)的，這樣你們就能有更多話題談啦。
6. Decide if you’re interested in pursuing
想清楚自己是否愿意積累這個(gè)人脈。
At the end of a conversation, you have to decide whether or not you want to pursue this relationship. If you do, present the person with your card or ask for theirs. Alternatively, ask for an email address or Facebook connection. Say something cheery like, “we should meet up sometime and talk more。” If you don’t want to pursue this connection, just be gracious, say “good talking to you。” And chalk up the conversation up to experience。
攀談之后，你應(yīng)該想清楚要不要培養(yǎng)這個(gè)人脈。如果有心交往，可以相互留下名片，交換郵箱地址或加Facebook好友也行。說(shuō)點(diǎn)熱情話，比如“我們以后有空多見(jiàn)面聊聊唄”。要是你不想和對(duì)方深交，可以直接親切地說(shuō)“跟你聊天真有意思”，然后到此為止吧。
